Even jogging is a power grab in Washington, DC. Movers-and-shakers huff and puff more than usual while they negotiate important deals. Stay-at-home moms wheeze as they schedule playdates while pushing uber-strollers full of indulged toddlers. The cougar brigade breathily discusses liposuction and how to stay 39 forever. Every once in a while you see 1 or 2 friends jogging together for health and/or fun, but that is not the norm. In the parks and on The Mall, hundreds of DC joggers convene every day in an attempt to take control of the universe.
But you are not the usual DC jogger. You are an independent spirit, in no need of a posse. Your agenda is to take care of yourself physically and spiritually, not focus on mergers and acquisitions. You do not jog in the parks or on The Mall just because everybody else does. You are open to new paths of both thinking and jogging. You want to jog where others will not.
Then it’s off to the cemetery for you! Yes, it is a little morbid (or liberating, depending on how you look at it), but cemeteries offer quiet, peaceful runs for the solitary jogger. Nobody wants to see hordes of people running around these places, so the cougars and assorted powerbrokers stay away. Winding paths of grass and gravel, interesting monuments – DC cemeteries offer various landscapes and sights for your jogging pleasure. Search the online yellow pages for links to appropriate locations.
Continuing with creepy-yet-distinctive runs, Georgetown offers an awesome workout when climbing the infamous Exorcist Steps (3607 M Street). These 97 steps comprise the actual staircase used in the movie where the young priest takes his final header. The steps are a bit steep so pace yourself accordingly. (If you start hearing “Tubular Bells” in your head, take a break because you might be getting overheated.).
And finally, a creepy-but-neat trip to National Harbor/Gaylord National Resort (Oxen Hill, MD) offers wonderful jogging paths along its pier (they also have a dog park if you bring Fido or Zoe along). Be sure to take a pass by “The Awakening”, an embedded sculpture of a giant who is struggling his way out of the ground.
In a city full of powerjoggers, you are a maverick. You are not out to conquer the world just to have a good jog on interesting terrain (even if that terrain is a disturbingly bit off the beaten path). In a city known for “business as usual”, you are an exception a new breed of DC jogger.
Jog on!
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